Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Randomize
