I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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