I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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