My nipple is on Facebook.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
