and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
