i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Randomize
