Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
