went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Randomize
