I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
