"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
i barfeds in our rink
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
The Olympian is in my bed
Randomize
