I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
