i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Alive.
So much puke
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
