I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Randomize
