I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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