We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
