that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
OPIZZABONMYDICK
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Randomize
