i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Randomize
