I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
YAS. BRING CRAB.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
