Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
