Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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