windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
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