Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I want to make a zoo with you.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Randomize
