Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
