i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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