Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
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