so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
