it hurts more in the daytime
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
