why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
