so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
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