she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
