does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
