If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
