apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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