Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
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