Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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