Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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