I'm drive I can fine osifer
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
