I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
