She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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