Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
