I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
