I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
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