I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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