I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
