i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
