Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I deserve this hangover.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
