feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Randomize
