We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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