at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
smell my finger.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
