My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
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